10 weeks pregnant!


We were awoken last night by an almighty , snapping bang. Almost surreal, we both turned to the window at the same time to find out there was thunder, lightning and snow going on at the same time. We live in the ground floor so before we seen the flash of lighting my knee jerk reaction was that someone was trying to get in through our window. We leave it slightly open as well, although it is still locked in position I regularly think about how someone could break in that way. There was a second loud bang after that, which we were already awake for (since our heart rates go to 250 ) and then we both eventually managed to fall asleep some time after.

The whole of Edinburgh has been talking about this today, with it plastered all over the new. Apparently the police had received dozens of calls from people thinking a bomb went off and car alarms went off across the city. I’m not surprised though, these random, unheard of events are a disaster for anxiety. I can be anxious I suppose without much problem but my main aim is to keep Maria as happy and anxious free as possible. I can’t wait until our next doctors appointment:

Doctor “So Maria, have you had any stress or anxiety recently?”

Maria ” Well yea, that fucking Thundersnow was no Swedish Massage”

Night time peeing

Sleeping has been a funny one anyway. One of the only noticeable differences at this stage of Marias pregnancy has been her regular night time peeing. Up to 3 times a night. It really still is early days so most of it is probably in the mind but regardless, there is still a lot of up and down in the middle of the night. Even though we’ve been together for so long when one of us wakes up the other does almost instinctually. I also hate being uncomfortable so I always go for a pee even if I don’t really have to. I’ve had discussions with a therapist about it before (true story).

This past week or 2 it’s been a relay race back and forward at least twice a night. 99.99999% of the time I have at least a semi hard penis so much of the time I’m sitting in the dark, on the toilet, half asleep, trying to direct my penis downwards.

It is actually quite frustrating. One little idiosyncrasy of Marias is her uncanny and almost unbelievable speed of pee. It’s so fast I can hear it when lying in bed. It always has been. It’s like someone has let off a fire hose for 2 seconds and then she’s done. It was quite impressive but now I’m just jealous. Maybe I should pimp her out to the Guinness Book of World Records for fastest pee. She’s in with a shout.

I couldn’t be more opposite. When it’s my turn and I just sit there tired and angry at my penis for not letting up, trying to sit at an angle so that the pee doesn’t shoot through the crevis between the seat and the bowl, all the while hoping the head of my penis doesn’t touch the foostie inside of the toilet. A complete shit show.

I don’t see this pattern letting up somehow. Between the pregnancy progressing and a new born baby it will only get worse. Maybe I should be the one in the nappies? Especially if the Thundersnow continues.

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