10 weeks and 4 days

Holidays are coming…holidays are coming

I can’t help but sing the line above like the Christmas coca cola advert but with thoughts of the corona vaccination trucks instead.

My pessimism until the scan is an annoying cloud that hangs over most feelings of happiness but with Christmas getting ever closer it does bring me joy thinking about sitting in warm a house, with the fire on, watching Christmas films as a family. We watched Office Christmas party last night (that won’t be one we watch with infants) but the feeling of comfort and impeding holidays meant the only thing I felt was missing was offspring, and maybe a dog.

It’s a form of broodiness really and it’s those feelings that got us to where we are now. I’ve always wanted children but this last year or so there has been such a strong feeling of wanting children it’s almost quite difficult to explain. I’ve not checked the science but I genuinely believe there is some form of trigger physiologically in male and females that people would call broodiness but somehow resembles the bodies readiness for mating.

Maria doesn’t quite have the same fever pitch level that I do but it’s still clear she has it. There might be a difference though in wanting a child of your own and wanting to move forward with your life and have that idyllic picture of a cosy winters day by the fire with the family and dog. I’m in both camps and it just makes me impatient, a classic case of not being able to enjoy the moment on it’s own merits but instead wanting more.

I’m starting to realise though, how much impatience is involved in pregnancy. So much waiting, anxiety and planning rolled into one big ball. You just hope it’s worth the wait and like everything, the longer you wait the sweeter it will be.

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